Recent reviews by Sgt. Peperoni

This is a great use of source engine. I played the co-op with friends, and while I had to want to get spooked (turned off all dem lights, played with headphones), I spent a few hours jumping and shouting through the microphone.

This game has an okay plot, a great survival horror feel (including being one of the few games where dropping a magazine with rounds still in it will cost you bullets), and original enemies that are just full of NOPE; one of which is a frakin' flying bed. Need I say more?

7/10, Play this game, play it with friends while in Mumble or Skype, and get spooked. Might not have too much replay value, but you'll get a solid four to ten hours out of it (depending if you play the single player and bonus maps as well).

I want my Payday... Too.

The only raisin thisgame isn't infinitely more popular was because it premiered when everybody was either buying GTA V or wasting their dosh on Watchdogs. If you have a friend or two (or three, optimally), frakin' buy this. Cook meth, rob banks, get money. Dood, really, what more can I say? I can't describe how much you should buy this game - its magical when a plan comes together.

8/10, would reccomend.

Well, I've officially played enough of this game that I feel like I can give a solid reveiw (and a TL;DR version). I played this game a lot on a friend's computer, and logged in over sixty hours before I bought it myself. So, with over 100 total hours of play between single and multiplayer, I have to say - I love this game, and I cannot play it enough.

TL;DR,

Pros
>Get to survive a plane crash
>Fight hordes of savages with some of the best AI I've come across
>Option to stay peaceful and coexist with said savages
>Cannibalism
>Sick crafting action
>Mad raft drifts
>Frequent updates with countdown to next update
>Dope Spelunking
>Horror is 11/10 levels of Nope
>You can lumberjack down the whole The Forest like it's Pioneer Simulator 2015 Elite Edition
>Looks better than Crysis 2
>Mad survival simulation; you have to keep warm, dry, clean, hydrated and well fed. Good luck.
>Close enough to reality that you'll never want to go to Vancouver Island (the island looks like its in BC, to clarify)

Cons
>Occasionally an update will be bumped back a day or two
>Official wiki is poorly maintained
>Game loses it's ♥♥♥♥♥♥ when you're hosting a large game
>Can't viciously murder Canadian Geese
>...

This game is fraking amazing - I really love survival horror games, and this game was the first game to give a great balance for both. I have never been truly unsettled by a vidya as much as I have The Forest. No spoilers, but there is a great and unexpected amount of body horror and truly unsettling caves. the crafting and building in this game are great, and as of version 0.18b they have both been incredibly fluid. There are frequent updates that add great new content, and every new update has cemented my love of the game. Oh, and it's fraking gorgeous. Like, for real dood - it looks better than Skyrim and a big chunk of other AAA games.

And the freedom dood - you can completely avoid conflict (a new breed of stealth) or hunt down every single other person on the island and murder (and cannibalize) them. Wanna live on a lake? Make a houseboat. Wanna live in the woods? Make a log cabin, or a treehouse. Explore the mountains and caves, looks for signs of other survivors... or just chill out and farm. The fact that there is such a small dev team that are so involved and hard at work is impressive, and as a Canadian I am astounded that they're based in British Columbia (it's great to see Canadian Content that isn't amateur as frak).

I can't recommend this game enough - it's like an HD First person version of Don't Starve,but way more indepth and a lot more realistic.
11/10, the greatest video game to come out of Canada (including GTA III and Mass Effect, yes).

Well, the game is certainly a little unwiedly, confusing perhaps, at first. I'll admit to having had to use a walkthrough at one point because I missed seeing a sign saying "You have to type IRL". I had a pretty negative experience the first time I played this game, but the second time I popped it in and (when I got my first acheivement) I realized - the game was trolling me.

This game has great ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ voice acting, and constantly has you asking "What?" "But why?" and "What in the fuch am I playing?". I have never played a troll game that is so good - there is a lot of lvoe put into the game, and after the first time you complete it you get a lot more of a sense for the game's logic (there's also an explanation from the game devs availible on steam, which is handy for some of the more wtf moments).

6.5/10, would recommend. If only for the game devs obviously being very dank and/or rare, it's worth the price (of nothing, which is a good selling point) and it's worth a couple hours.
Just remember to take deep breathes and not be ashamed to use community guides (and not to tab out, because then the game breaks itself so that you can't get acheivements).

i don't want to trash this, maybe this is an art game which can only truly be appreciated by the developer. But, as it stands, this game is a collection of photos, videos and random sounds very loosely held together by a matching game that makes up the actual gameplay, with little to no replay value. You will 100% the game in one playthrough, and the game closes when you finish (making getting the trading cards a little difficult).

1/10, seems either 3deep5me or like it's the first elimination at a game jam. Would definitely not recommend, save the money folks.

Well that was definitely... Something.
I was expecting this to be a silly little instructional on how to sex but...

>30 seconds of gameplay
>claims to show how to do it
>no part of the game involves pooping in a girls butt
>mash genitals together at warp 8 speed
>most realism
>12/8
>game of the year
>every year

Well, I don't like to sh*t-talk things, so I'm going to say that I enjoy the idea of a game where you can throw toilets, and the first time you throw a weapon at one of the monsters chasing you it's a little satisfying.

Aside from that, I can't say much positive about the game. The game feels like it most certainly didn't mean to be a parody; it feels like they finished the game and realized that it wad too generic to have any else marketable or mildly unique (which the game, at this point, sadly isn't). The game play is uninspired, the graphics are as bland as lukewarm water and the actual mechanics of the game are - again - very generic. This game might as well be a workshop pack for Slender, but Slender was at least atmospheric. The compass gets cut off by some aspect ratios in windowed mode, you cant sprint again after depleting your stamina until it is entirely full, and the map is a big pile of almost-identical textures.

3.5/10, not only wouldn't recommend but would also actively recommend against it. i kind of want to apologise to the single person who made this game, but he/she should really have tried to make something that is either A) an actual parody, or B) not so (and again I'm sorry to keep using this word)damn generic.

TL;DR, This game feels more like a thinly-veiled ripoff than a parody. It's uninspired and fun for about ten minutes, but they aren't the first ten minutes. The game is a bumblef*ck, I'm sorry.

A couple of short, fun and quirky platformers that I really loved.
Not only do i think the whole system is a good, funny concept (needing to unlock the pause menu and sound, or the tongue in cheek area named Plz Name Area that have to be unlocked by buying the DLC for example) that was well done. A lot of games these days end up making it to be games just because their concept is funny or weird enough, but this game does it pretty well.

The old school graphics and controls make for a really tight and satisfying experience. Collectibles and hidden stuff to keep completionists happy, pretty decent replay value and throwback graphics make this a 7.5/10, would definitely recommend.

It's a fun game, even if the multiplayer is a little wonky to get working sometimes.
The text-to-speech and sick rover jumps aside, the game is a pretty good sim. Challenging at first, but could use a little more depth.

ALSO, fun things to do with the computer inside, which may/may not include a text based adventure. If you have a buddy it can be a fun time and funny too. Or you can be a real man and do it solo for the extra difficult.

6.5/10, enjoyed it and would recommend.

This is a fantastic game, and even as a fan of CS:GO, I think this is the best use of Source I have seen yet. It's a relentlessly funny game that actually brought a reflective and self-concious tear to my eye during one of the endings. If you're looking for a game that dissects first person narrative tropes and lampoons a lot of predictable video game archtypes.

You want a game where the dev team has thought of literally fraking everything? That's The Stanley Parable, the funniest game I have ever played, and one that made me feel very introspective when all was said and done.

8/10, would recommend if you want to go "haha - oh... wait."