Own Lightborn for self-defense, since that's what the Entity intended. Four flashlight-clicking SWFs drop in on my match. "What the devil?" I whisper, as I pull up my bloodstained coat and activate Lightborn. The first Meg rushes me, flashlight blazing like the gates of heaven. I stare directly into the beam—immune—and pick up her fallen teammate anyway. She's stunned. I walk right through the second Claudette’s clicky ambush like Moses parting the sea of ego.

Third survivor tries to 360 into a flashlight save. I turn slowly, deliberately, like a god among toddlers, and let her blind me—nothing happens. My perk devours her hope. She DCs on the spot. The final Nea throws a pallet and flashbangs in panic. I absorb it like Vitamin D and reload my M1. I whisper, "Blind deez nuts," and she ragequits before hitting second hook.

Just as the Entity intended.