Welcome, greenhorn, to the murky bayous of Hunt: Showdown. You may think this game is about stealth, teamwork, and skilled gunplay—but you'd be wrong. The real Hunt: Showdown experience isn’t about who takes home the bounty or survives the gauntlet of hellhounds and hive bombs. No, it’s about cultivating an online persona so authentic, so obnoxious, and so full of excuses that others will wonder if you're a professional victim.

This guide will teach you the sacred rites of a true Hunt player—mastering the art of complaining, perfecting the science of self-inflicted challenges, and ensuring every death feels like someone else’s fault. Strap on your grey shirt and Caldwell Rival, partner. It's time to learn how to become a bayou legend one Steam discussion post at a time.

Never spend Hunt Dollars. Always go into matches with the cheapest loadout possible and complain about being at a disadvantage when you face players with expensive gear. When questioned, claim you're "saving for a rainy day."

Real players never use guns like the Mosin-Nagant or the Sparks. Instead, you should equip a completely random loadout like a pair of Caldwell Conversion Pistols and a throwing axe. When you inevitably lose, claim your weapon choice was meant to "add to the challenge." IMPORTANT: When current meta relies on the cheapest weapons like Springfield, play only the meta weapons.

Dying in Hunt: Showdown isn’t your fault; it’s always a cheater.

1. Open the Steam Discussions page.
2. Create a new thread titled something like, "Is Hunt: Showdown FULL OF CHEATERS NOW?!"
3. Write a post accusing Crytek of doing nothing about hackers. Bonus points for using phrases like "I’m done with this game," "another dead game," or "it's worse than Tarkov"
4. Check back hourly for validation from other disgruntled players.

Lower all your graphics settings to the absolute minimum, even if your PC is capable of running the game well. Don't mind your eyes watering and your eyesight being damaged. Despite that, blame all your misses and deaths on lag, servers or low FPS. Remember, "If I had better gear, I’d wipe squads solo!"

Never, ever extract without both bounty tokens. If you lose them, it’s because your team wasn’t carrying their weight. Blame everything on them. Bonus points for leaving a nasty comment on their profile (preferably in Russian). Of course, accuse the person that killed you of cheating as well.

Push without thinking - games are boring when you sit at a spot for longer than 20 seconds. If you die to an ambush or someone waiting in a building, accuse them of "camping." Never acknowledge that tactical positioning is a legitimate strategy. "Campers" are beneath you. And do the whole shtick of leaving comments on their profile again.

Every time you have a bad match, uninstall the game and swear to never play it again. Remember to post a dramatic goodbye in the forums, detailing how "Crytek ruined the game." Reinstall a few hours later because nothing scratches the itch like Hunt.

Blame Crytek for everything. Lag? Crytek servers. Cheaters? Crytek doesn’t care. Missed your headshot? Crytek nerfed aiming in the last patch, obviously. The key is to always make sure Crytek knows you, the chronically online basement dweller that still lives with their mom despite pushing 30, could run their game better.

You’re now armed with everything you need to ascend to the ranks of a true Hunt: Showdown player. It’s not about headshots or bounties—it’s about headlining the Steam forums, terrorizing your teammates with questionable choices, and making every match a spectacle of your fragile ego. Remember: skill is temporary, but complaining is eternal.

Now get out there, partner, and show the bayou what you're made of. Just don’t forget to report back to the forums every time you’re "unfairly" killed—after all, the community is counting on your hot takes to survive. Good luck, and may your packet loss always be higher than your K/D!