Recent reviews by Choir of VVolves

There was once a starving little boy who never missed a chance to help his fellow villagers. One day, after helping an old man carry a heavy bundle of wheat, he was offered a loaf of bread.

"Eat your fill, my boy, it is well deserved", he began, "but if you feel like helping even more, there are two gnomes hiding in the forest who are even hungrier than you are."

Now that boy was an empathetic one. His mind was made up instantly. After a short hike, he found the gnomes and split the bread between the two of them, without even saving a bite for himself.

"Thank you, kind little boy", the gnomes beamed "it seems you have lifted our curse."

Indeed, to punish them for their greed, a spirit had put them under a rather annoying spell. They were exiled to the forest, carrying a magic little mill capable of producing anything its bearer desired. But the little mill's magic would only be activated once the gnomes were fed by a stranger acting out of selfless generosity. To starve while carrying a relic promising abundance, a cruel fate indeed.

Now you can imagine the little boy's surprise when he was given the magic item. "Name something you want while turning the crank to the right, and the little mill will produce an endless stream of it", the gnomes explained. "Turn it to the left, and it will stop."

After creating a huge pile of food for the two gnomes, the young boy went back to his village to help the populace with his newfound powers. But as he grew in popularity, his older sister grew in jealousy. One night she couldn't take it anymore, and stole the little mill from her brother's bedside table, along with two leftover pies from that afternoon's feast. Adding insult to injury, she left on the family's fishing boat to reach new lands, hoping to have her turn in the role of the popular purveyor.

Once out at sea, she decided to try one of the pies, which to her taste were lacking a little something. It was time to try that little mill's magic, she reckoned. "Give me salt!" she said, turning the crank to the right. And salt she got. Heaps and heaps of it. Now, older sister had never bothered paying attention to how the mill could be stopped. "STOP! LITTLE MILL, STOP!" she shouted, first annoyed, then worried, and finally panicked. Salt soon overflowed the boat itself, sinking it under the weight.

It is said that the sunken little mill is still operational to this day, and is the reason why seawater is salty. The end.

OH, YOU DONT LIKE THAT ONE?
WELL WHY DONT YOU TELL ME A STORY AND I'LL JUDGE IT.

HOW ABOUT THIS.
SEEING HOW BIG SISTERS ANGER LED TO HER DEMISE, IRRITATED PEOPLE WERE HENCEFORTH REFERRED TO AS SALTY.

OH I GOT ANOTHER ONE FOR YOU.
SEEING HOW THE BIG SISTER'S SHORTCOMINGS AS A MILL OPERATOR LED TO HER DEMISE, UNQUALIFIED PEOPLE WERE HENCEFORTH REFERRED TO AS BEING "NOT WORTH THEIR SALT"

Hey, this is fun!
You should buy this game, I'll keep on coming up with morals to do with salt.

I wanted a nice, relaxing Harvest Moon sim. Instead, it's more focused on interpersonal relationships with text boxes. No thanks, I don't want to spend Days 1-3 walking slowly around a town for 20 minutes each time trying to "meet" all 28 of your tropes as a first quest. I just wanted a farming sim. Not a relationship sim.

Thanks! I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hate it and all of you.

Killer is dead and after this PC port I sincerely hope I'm next.

2019 originally: 0/10 never rains in the game not even one time

2024 update: -1/10, as it's now owned by Gearbox lmao

Further proof the Uchigatana and pyromancy need to be nerfed.

It's beyond refreshing that a developer remasters their game with this level of love and care. Heavy effing support.

How Square-Enix treated this game, the 'exclusive upgrade', and generally DQ as a whole is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ embarassing.

(MY HANDS ARE SO #^%$ING SWEATY)

Great grindy content. Sometimes awesome community. Even better than Rise.

Base Game: Much of the 'GOTY' talk is a little ridiculous though. Story is cringeworthy at best and all the morons carting at the first wave of Behemoth (normal) can't convince me that the gameplay is so good that there needed to be no story and only 5 true zones.

Icebourne: Recommended, awesome, and honestly rejuvenates the game in many forms; adding quality of life updates (things that feel like they should have been here all along) and the launcher/claw finally has use other than being where you launch flashpods. It totally bombards you with things to do and tutorials to explore; but ultimately becomes "how many reskins can be performed before you notice" and you may be sick to DEATH of the game by the time you reach the endgame.

The strangest phenomenon is that Capcom's tried and true RPG mechanic "omg the boss is going to perform a nova/AOE attack so run" is a standard M.O. late game and for maybe six months of playing this game, not many people have "wisened up" to this point; The last 4 patches spanned over the last 8 months or so are all different bosses on this focus/mechanic and it's real ♥♥♥♥ with pugs. In fact, with the exception of some shooting games, I don't think I've had WORSE pugs than in this game. Some fantastic new friends, but some real stinkers too.

Not recommended because it's really hard to sell this amount of time wasting to the standard player, but if you enjoy the series or Anime Souls, join the party.