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You can try to lower the priority of DialogueWIndhelm in CreationKit on your end. Or contact author of that other mod for moving into a custom house, tell him about the problem and maybe suggest to rise priority of their quest to 45 (the priority of vanilla marriage quest RelationshipMarriageFIN, that nomrally governs where the spouse lives).
If I understood it right, Ulfric's sitting in the Palace of Kings is ruled by DialogueWindhelm quest which has priority 30, living in a standard house has priority 45, 45 beats 30, Ulfric lives in a standard house. But when that other mod comes into play I have no idea what priority does it's quest have, looks like it's less than 30, and Ulfric's sitting in the throne takes precedence.
SetStage OUUlfricCanObey 10
then speak to him, he should have at least follower's dialogues. And I don't remember if you had follower's dialogues before...
http://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/7616/
and here:
https://mods.bethesda.net/#en/workshop/skyrim/mod-detail/3479507
A+++ Would marry again.
Sincerely
Mrs Stormcloak
setStage OUUlfricCanObey 85
If you're playing with Hearthfire, type this as well:
setStage OUHearthfire 85
For it to work the mod must be checked in the launcher.