Recent reviews by Shunyaku

"Alright guys, good job. With that guard dealt with we're alone with the civvies and can finall-"
"GUYS! THE DRILL! GO GET IT!"
"JESUS BAINE! WE KNOW!"

There is nothing to say about the game that is not covered in the description itself, other than Baine is annoying and learning the ins and outs makes you feel godlike.

But if you can take the nagging of a disembodied highschool dropout and the ignorance and impatience of people 1/7 your experience level no matter how much or little you've played, it's a pretty great play.

Just... don't hate the guy too much when he whines about no extra loot, even after a Ukranian Job with 4 full bags of extra jewelry. I'm pretty sure he's blind.

Absolutely terrible.
Knew my native resolution but forced a different one anyway. Had to edit half the keybindings to even make it near playable, and the transition to death or a map restart has absolutely no buffer whatsoever, making me think the first time it happened I accidentally opened some strange menu.

This is an attempt at capitalizing on the counter-strike tram fortress popularity, with absolutely no real effort or ingenuity.

25, August
Today, I ran. A lot. The zeds are relentless, and sometimes... I think they can see through walls. I pray this shed won't be spotted by my other pursuers. My ammo is nearly run dry, I'm down to my last can of meat, and I don't think I can feel my toes. Бог help me.

27, August
I can still hear them nearby... I managed to hide at the top of a grain silo, but who knows if it will remain a hiding place for long. I told them I have nothing worth stealing! What could they want?

9, September
It's been a while since I've made an update. The running. All the damn running. My boots are worn through, pant legs shreded. I had to rip my shirt up 2 days ago to make a bandage for my waist, and a splint for my left leg. Those собаки really got me good... but I can't find the bullet. Must have been at least 5.56, to push through so much flesh.

11, September
I-I've lost too much blood. In a panic fleeing my attackers I swam to an island near the coast, but in doing so my wound reopened. There's no food anywhere around, or even something to make rags. Worse than that however, when I arrived I was so very thirsty, and knowing seawater is deadly I searched every building, every crack. I didn't even realize what I grabbed was disenfectant until half the bottle was in my stomach. Vison growing blurry. I'll be with you soon, мать.

12, September
Yesterday after losing consciousness it seems I was happened upon by a stranger. The first and so far only time I've seen kindness, and I will never forget him.
This morning I awoke to a defibrillator discharging into my chest, him knelt above me. My wounds were cleaned, dressed, he even sutured them! I'm told I was very very sick, he forced some ipecac down my throat to get the remaining disinfectant out, and spent the night giving me a blood transfusion. I'm too frightened to ask where the blood came from.

15, September
Elijah, was his name. Never have I known a greater, more heroic individual. After caring for me, he left me with 4 cans of meat, 2 of fruit, as well as 2 full canteens and a map marked with what he considers the cleanest water in the region.
He called himself a "Regulator", said he strives for justice in a world filled with the walking dead and countless mass-murderers. I intend to learn more about them, maybe even join their ranks. Until then, I will don their chosen uniform to proclaim my intent to help others.

22, September
Finally found the last bit of clothing I wanted; a cowboy hat. This I am told is something of a universal sign that you mean well when meeting others. I was warned that it can draw the psychopaths to try and get the jump on me, but after I found that airfield in the northwest I no longer feel any fear.
Come for me, you scum who kill other humans on sight.
My M4A1 can't wait to meet you.

Years ago, I was told to watch Requiem for a Dream. It was so good they said. It was such an epic story. What it ended as, was 2 hours of mental torture to watch a sad kid cry after suffering the results of heroin abuse.

Well, The Walking Dead Season Two is the Requiem of Dreams of video games.

The story is amazing. It's a fun game. It really is.

But I have never hated a set of writers more. I have never been so insanely angry at game creators for any reason at all. This game is hours and hours and hours of brutal torture for the player. Watch as a little girl is distrusted by everyone, and hated even by people she held dear, as she simply struggles to survive in a true hell on earth.

400 days wont make you hate any of the new characters any less, but at least you'll understand why Bonnie is such a pathetic little.... no... no, this isn't the place for that.

Trust nobody. Especially the Russians.

Do you like tv shows like The Walking Dead? Do you get crazy angry and shout at the screen when someone makes a really stupid decision? Are you interested in events and experiences so engrossing you experience an adrenaline surge on par with an actual near-death experience?

Then you want this game.

Yeah, the trailors don't really show what the game's like. The screenshots don't do much better. But trust me, it's way better than those bits of media portray. As the main character an enormous amount of responsibility is stacked on you, and you're presented opportunity to make one of 2 choices at times wherein 2 survivors are in trouble, or as many as 4 dialogue options for times when shouting is the solution. Not everyoner you ignore dies, and not everyone you try to save lives. The situations are intense, frightening, and never fail to get you personally invested in the events and emotions.

Lee Everett was a man on his way to his end. Not an execution, but after he killed a senator for sleeping with his wife, it was unlikely he would ever taste freedom again. After the police cruiser he was riding in hits a walker and veers off the road, he is given a second chance in a world where most aren't even given a first. Take Clementine under your care, and keep her safe while making sure she learns right from wrong. All she wants is to see her mommy and daddy, but the messages Lee heard on the answering machine as you begin the game are not those left by people who feel safe.

You're trying to seed human life on a new world. As you descend, your ship collides with what looks like some sort of magic hover city, destroying both it and your ship. Small life pods eject, sending those who weren't killed in the first explosion down to the surface to try their damndest to survive.
That's where you begin.

Help your fellow crewmates heal their injuries and collect together, defend against the occasional monster stampede and assemble a fortress to protect those who remain as you struggle to secure life, and begin the existence you intended from the start. Will you make friends with the indingenous sentient species? Can you even survive their outrunners long enough to try? Learn designs to assemble all the things needed to live well and comfortably, from huge laser cannons that rest on top of your most vulerable buildings to eggshell chairs like people loved in the 1970s, you eventually learn it all from your friends and potential new allies.
But there is more danger than you might think at first.
Beware, explorer, the depths of the forests for they hold creatures I can only refer to as like the Chimeras of S.T.A.L.K.E.R. fame. Oceans, fish that could eat blue whales in 5 bites. The skies conceal huge birds, but a quick wit and a well-maintianed rifle can nearly keep you even from being harmed by them.

What will you build? An impenetrable steel fortress with 30 foot walls that stand in mocking defiance of the local beasts? An underground compound filled with laberynthine passages and high-tech facilities? A huge golden tower gleaming in the sun, staring down from a huge mesa or mountainrange?

That's for you to decide.

The only thing the makers of the game care about, is you enjoy their carefully crafted world of make-believe.

Imagine if Minecraft was pretty, in space, and way way cooler. As one of the first 20k to EVER buy Minecraft, I want you to know just how dramatic my aproval of this is. In Minecraft, you can build a log cabin next to a river. and ride a pig off a cliff. In Space Engineers you can build a Borg Cube and crash it into an asteroid large enough to whipe out the dinosaurs.

Need I say more?

Though much of the early game is unstoppable orientation that makes replay attempts a bother, this game is still one of the best within any relevent field. Find friends, fortify buildings to set camp in, go on item scavenging runs and barricade those windows; because the zombies are coming, and they move FAST!
If you liked Zombie Panic, Fallout, any ol tower defense game, minecraft, of anything like them, this WILL appeal to something within you.
The main story plops you into an odd struggle where half the friends you make get killed off on purpose, and the rest die due to you screwing up somewhere. The DLC allows a more sandbox-style startup, even allowing you to chose your first home from etiher a couple (randomly chosen) camps already populated, or an empty building of your choosing.
Don't forget the buddy system; even though it costs a lot of influence to bring someone with you, the difference could be as stark as getting home with a sack full of ammo, of being ripped in half by one of those big guys that seems somewhere inbetween a l4d boomer and tank.

Good luck, and remember to bring some ammo.

You're the master of a dark realm, with one goal and one goal alone; Take. Over. Everything.

Dig tunnels and rooms, set booby traps, and slap your minions for being idiots, and soon you'll know why this style game has been an obsession for me for over a decade.

Yes, it's beta, and yes there is a LOT for them to add, but with the current quality this is just more reason to buy. In coming months they will add further function, as well as an amazing array of content.

Do you like silly remarks from your disembodied advisor voices? Then you're in for a treat. "One of your minions has filed a formal anonymous complaint"

But remember, Keeper. Micro-pigletts stalk your dungeon-BEWARE!

DO NOT BUY THS GAME.

It makes you think that there's a story, that there's actual play to be had, but it's the simplest LIE ever crafted! Graphics improve, but to what end? All it does is tell you a weak history of how things came to be, with the most pathetic choices ever when it comes to how to actually experience the functions.

As for "company" reviers, you should all know by now NEVER to trust Kotaku.