Got a Car and a Date
Complete "Welcome to the Age of Metal"

Start a Revolution
Complete "Exploited in the Bowels of Hell"

Thick as a Baby's Arm
Complete "Lair of the Metal Queen"

Hair Remover
Complete "Battle for Bladehenge"

French Kiss Instructor
Complete "Pilgrimage of Screams"

Chicks n' Booze n' Stuff
Complete "Sanctuary of Sin"

Ran to the Hills
Complete "It's Raining Death"

Fistful of Fog
Complete "Dry Ice, Wet Graves"

No More Tears
Complete "Sea of Black Tears"

• unmissable achievements - just finish the game you will get them all
  
• any difficulty works, but read below...

Groupie
Complete Campaign mode on Gentle

Roadie
Complete Campaign mode on Normal

Legend
Complete Campaign mode on Brütal

• you have to start a new game and play on selected difficulty until the end
  
• changing the difficulty in in-game options doesn't work for those achievements; don't try to play, say on "Gentle" difficulty and change it to "Brütal" before the final boss - it will not work
  
• those achievements do stack. finishing the game on "Brütal" difficulty awards all three achievements
  
• game is not that hard, RTS-segments may be tough, but not unforgivable difficult, don't be afraid. Brutal Legend wiki has a full walkthrough for each story mission[brutallegend.fandom.com] - in case of troubles read those pieces

Squeal Like a Chicken
Complete all racing secondary missions

• it is highly recommended to fully upgrade The Deuce before tacking off those racing missions, otherwise you will waste a lot of time. the final upgrade for The Deuce 's speed/nitro is unlocked after finishing "Doom's Dawn" mission (when you fight Drowning Doom army for the first time)
  
• Fletus has a preprogrammed route, meaning that nothing can stop him from moving forward, his acceleration and turns are scripted, with no way to hit him off. it also means that when Fletus is behind then he can easily ram your car like it doesn't even exist

Protector
Complete 20 ambush, outpost defense, or mortar secondary missions

• if you have the issues with those missions, then lower down the difficulty: it makes a huge difference (mind "Legend" achievement, tho)
  
• Ambush missions are getting tougher as you go, but the most common and easiest strat is to double-team with a Thunderhog, travel into a group of dangerous enemies and use stun-attack. play "Battle Cry" solo before the battle - it will greatly boost your units
  
• Outpost Defense missions are very easy to beat if you use The Deuce's "Missile Launcher" weapon. that weapon annihilates all enemy units
  
• Mortar missions are quite easy too, since mortar deals no damage to friendly units. just wait until they will clash with the enemies and shoot mortar into an epicenter of brawl

Overkill
Complete all hunting secondary missions

• it is better to combine that achievement with "Beast Master" achievement (see below)
  
• to start a hunting mission talk with a Hunter. he will be located in one of the following locations:

• Hunter tasks to kill a specific amount of various enemies in a given order. you are allowed to use melee weapons or The Deuce's weapons
  
• animals to kill (and their locations):
  
  • x21 Ground Urchin

• x16 Raptor Elk

• x11 Razorfire Boar
  - taking them down on foot is dangerous, better to use The Deuce's weapons from a safe distance

• x6 Tollusk

• x16 Reaper Steed
  - them, Sickle Wraith and Guillotar you can easily camp near "Wraith Tree" (red area)

• x6 Laser Panther

• x11 Sickle Wraith

• x6 Guillotar

• x4 Hextadon

• after finishing the last task talk to Hunter (he will not be shown on the map, but he is located in one of two locations, see above). he will give a Steel-Quilled Axe Treatment and achievement is yours

Beast Master
Ride one of every ridable animal

• it is better to combine that achievement with "Overkill" achievement (see above)
  
• to ride an animal you need to shock it first with a Guitar. tougher animals require more shock blasts. after a few attacks animal will be stunned - that's your opportunity to mount it
  
• be careful with High Voltage Guitar String - it deals more shock damage and can potentially kill an animal before you could mount it
  
• the following animals should be ride for the achievement (see "Overkill" achievement for their description):
  
  • Raptor Elk
    
  • Tollusk
    
  • Razorfire Boar
    
  • Laser Panther
    
  • Reaper Steed
    
  • Guillotar
    
  • Hextadon

Quill Tosser
Kill a Tollusk using only Ground Urchins

• a surprisingly tough achievement due to various factors. first find a good spot with both Tollusk and Ground Urchins. in my game the following area had plenty of both animals:

• agro Tollusk to make him chase you and, meanwhile, use shock attack to stun Ground Urchin (unequip High Voltage Guitar String if you use it). pick him up and throw at Tollusk. repeat that process 3-4 times and achievement is yours

• Tollusk shall not take any other damage but from Ground Urchin. if somebody or anything dealt even a 1 point of damage to him - you have to start over with a different Tollusk
  
• getting that achievement near the end of the game or in post-game is way more difficult, because all areas are crawled with various hostile and friendly units who attack Tollusks at sight. it is much better to select a previous chapter in Main Menu and get that achievement here
  
• if you are afraid for your savefiles then backup them manually. their location:
  

  ...\AppData\Roaming\Doublefine\BrutalLegend\

Coolest Thing Ever
Jump over a Hextadon in the Deuce

• travel in the following area. here you will find a ramp

• travel back and fourth along the passageway until a Hextadon is spawned nearby the ramp. agro him and move closer to the ramp. when everything is set, push a nitro and jump over that beast
  
• no need to be very perfect. even if you hit his back - achievement still be count

Boar Bather
Ride a Razorfire Boar into the Sea of Black Tears and live to tell the tale

• the overall route looks like this. save in nearby Motor Forge, so you can "retry from checkpoint" quickly
  
• you will not get this achievement if Eddie fell into the Sea of Black Tears. aim a Razorfire Boar at the Sea and jump off at the last second; don't jump too early or else a Razorfire Boar will turn around
  
• the easiest way to accomplish that task is to complete Hunting missions up to the Razorfire Boars and then stop. this way, "Call of the Wild" song will summon a Razorfire Boar. now, just use that skill nearby the Sea of Black Tears and cheese that achievement. the downside, however, is that you, probably, had to start the game from (almost) beginning

before collecting anything

all collectables locations are displayed in that awesome guide, by achievementhunter.com
https://sp.zhabite.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=130210175

if you cannot for the life of you find some collectables, then beat the game and purchase "Oculus of the Lost" for The Deuce. it shows the locations of all nearby "Bound Serpents", "Motor Forges", "Buried Metal", "Landmark Viewers", "Artifacts of Legend", "Tab Slabs" and "Lightning Plug Jumps"

Serpent Samaritan
Free 40 Bound Serpents

Serpent Spanker
Free 80 Bound Serpents

Serpent Savior
Free all 120 Bound Serpents

• read "before collecting anything" paragraph above
  
• Bound Serpents are stelas all around the world. use Guitar's Fire attack to unleash them
  
• there are x120 Bound Serpents in total

Flowerslave
Summon all Motor Forges

• read "before collecting anything" paragraph above
  
• Motor Forges are shop-kinda buildings where upgrades for a character and a car can be purchased. use "Relic Raiser" solo to summon them (you have it from the start)
  
• there are x11 Motor Forges in total

Voices From Beyond
Unlock all songs in the Mouth of Metal

• read "before collecting anything" paragraph above
  
• Buried Metal are the statues that add new songs into a playlist. use "Relic Raiser" solo to summon them (you have it from the start)
  
• there are x24 Buried Metals in total

Tourist
View all vistas

• read "before collecting anything" paragraph above
  
• Vistas (Landmark Viewers) are a telescope-like instruments to observer nearby surroundings. just "use" them
  
• mind that its light is green if you never used it, and becomes red is you already activated it
  
• there are x32 Vistas in total

Now You Must Tell the Tale
View all Legends

• read "before collecting anything" paragraph above
  
• Legends are the monuments that tell backstory and in-game lore. use "Earthshaker" attack (simultaneous Guitar and Axe attack) to break them, and then "use" them
  
• there are x13 Legends in total

• two Legends you cannot get until a certain point in the campaign
  
  • the Legend in Death's Clutch area can be unlocked after finishing "A Number Of The Beasts" mission (where you face KISS-amazons for the first time):
    
  • the Legend near Sea of Black Tears can be unlocked after finishing the game (in post-game content):
    

Virtuoso
Learn all guitar solos

• read "before collecting anything" paragraph above
  
• Tab Slabs are the altars where you learn guitar solos, just "use" them
  
• there are x12 Tab Slabs (you start with 2/12 learned)

One Hit Wonder
Purchase 1 upgrade in the Motor Forge

Loyal Customer
Purchase all upgrades in the Motor Forge

Favored
Acquire 3,000 Fire Tributes

• see "Flowerslave" achievement to learn what Motor Forges are
  
• for "Loyal Customer" you need to buy all upgrades; you need 3485 Fire Tributes in total
  
• more upgrades will appear after progressing further in the campaign (some upgrades appear only after finishing the game)
  
• you receive Fire Tributes for the following ways:
  
  • completing Campaign missions
    
  • completing Secondary Missions (Hunting, Racing, Ambush, Outpost Defense, Mortar...)
    
  • freeing Bound Serpents
    
  • raising Buried Metal
    
  • viewing the Vistas
    
  • seeing Artifacts of Legend
    
  • performing Lightning Plug Jumps
    
  • assisting friendly units in their fights with enemy units

Silence, ground walker!
Gain 5 or more seconds of hang time in a single jump - any mode

• travel into that area. here you can find an outstanding cliff with a ground to land on below

• travel to nearby Motor Forge (to make a checkpoint), summon The Deuce, pray to whoever deity you believe in, and ride off the cliff

• on landing you should get the achievement, if not reload from a checkpoint (you did save in Motor Forge, didn't you?)

Some Demon Flesh on your Bumper
Slay 150 enemies with the Deuce - any mode

• The Deuce's weapons do count towards that achievement, so just purchase a weapon upgrade and go kill some baddies, easy as that
  
• ramming enemies work too. "Coiling Maw" upgrade greatly increases ram power (see "Carnivore" achievement)
  
• that achievement is mostly unmissable, because you kill lots of enemies while riding The Deuce in stoty-line mission
  
• while description says "Demon Flesh", in fact any enemies count (animals do not)

Carnivore
Run down 20 animals in the Deuce with the Coiling Maw equipped

• first, purchase "Coiling Maw" upgrade in Motor Forge. it becomes available once you finish "Doom's Dawn" mission (where you fight Drowning Doom for the first time). upgrade is free and requires having all other armor upgrades ("A Touch Too Much Armor")
  
• now, equip "Coiling Maw" and drive around killing harmless animals, like Ground Urchins. 20 kills will not take any long

If You Want Blood, You Got It
Kill 20 Tainted Coil units with the Disgorger

• first, purchase "The Disgorger" weapon in Motor Forge. it becomes available after finishing "Battle for Bladehenge" mission (the first RTS battle). weapon is free
  
• now, equip "The Disgorger" and drive around killing Tainted Coil units. in the post-game content lots of them can be found here:
  
• only kills in open-world count towards this achievement (kills during secondary missions or RTS do not)
  
• to use that weapon HOLD button, not just press it

Cry Me a River
Kill 20 Drowning Doom units with the Eye of Sorrow

• first, purchase "Eye of Sorrow" weapon in Motor Forge. it becomes available after finishing "Pilgrimage of Screams" mission (where you together with Ophelia and Roadies visit Screaming Wall and where Eddie kisses Ophelia for the first time). weapon is free
  
• now, equip "Eye of Sorrow" and drive around killing Drowning Doom units. in the post-game content lots of them can be found here:
  
• only kills in open-world count towards this achievement (kills during secondary missions or RTS do not)

I've never touched an axe before
Personally smote 300 enemies - any mode

• use Axe and Guitar to kill x300 enemies. achievement is almost unmissable, because you kill ~1,000 enemies near the end of game
  
• all kills count - in open-world, in RTS, in primary and secondary missions

Whispering Rock
Chisel four Razputin heads onto Mt. Rockmore

• first, visit Motor Forge and purchase "Razputin" head in "Mt Rockmore Effigies". it is free
  
• travel into that area and look for a "\m/ hand" with the stairs

• go up the stairs and change the look of four heads to Razputin

• if you are wondering who the hell Razputin is, - he is a protagonist of Psychonauts series[psychonauts.fandom.com], another project of "Double Fine", developers of Brütal Legend
  https://sp.zhabite.com/steamstore/app/3830/Psychonauts/
  https://sp.zhabite.com/steamstore/app/788690/Psychonauts_in_the_Rhombus_of_Ruin/
  https://sp.zhabite.com/steamstore/app/607080/Psychonauts_2/

Beard Beard Action Beard!
Make out with Ophelia while wearing the Mountain Man Threads.

• first, finish the game, then visit Motor Forge and change your threads (costume) to "Mountain Man"
  
• visit that area
  
• look for Ophelia. then do whatever a gentleman is usually doing to a lady

Norwegian Sendoff
Visit the grave of a fallen hero while wearing the Black Metal Threads

• first, finish the game, then visit Motor Forge and change your threads (costume) to "Black Metal"
  
• visit that area
  
• look for that monument with Lita nearby. pay a tribute to Lars together

A Face Like a Beast
Kill 15 enemies with a Metal Beast while wearing the Zaulia Threads

• first, finish the game, then visit Motor Forge and change your threads (costume) to "Zaulia"
  
• visit the Jungles
  
• look for Metal Beast around. double-team with it and kill x15 enemies. oddly, but those "skull-fences" do count towards that achievements (probably developers coded them as enemies' sub-entity with 1HP. you can see how Laser Panthers sometimes attack those fences for no reasons)

Metal God
Achieve 100% completion on the stats screen

• for that achievement you need to fully, 100%, finish the game. in Stats screen it should say "completed: 100%"
  
• the following items count towards 100% competition:
  
  • finish the campaign
    
  • finish all secondary missions (see "Squeal Like a Chicken", "Protector" and "Overkill" achievements)
    
  • free all Bound Serpents (see "Serpent Savior" achievement)
    
  • Summon all Motor Forge (see "Flowerslave" achievement)
    
  • uncover all Buried Metal (see "Voices From Beyond" achievement)
    
  • view all Vistas (see "Tourist" achievement)
    
  • view all Legends (see "Now You Must Tell the Tale" achievement)
    
  • learn all guitar solos (see "Virtuoso" achievement)
    
  • purchase all upgrades (see "Loyal Customer" achievement)
    
  • find all Lightning Plug Jumps (see below)
    
  • unlock all Ironheade concept arts (see below)
    
  • unlock all Creatures concept arts (see below)
• Lightning Plug Jumps:
  
  • for Lightning Plug Jumps perform a special sweet jump indicated by a swarm of blue bugs

• fully upgrade The Deuce's speed/nitro - it will make things much easier
  
• that guide shows the locations of all Lightning Plug Jumps:
  https://sp.zhabite.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=130210175
  
• when you finish the game, you may purchase "Oculus of the Lost" upgrade for The Deuce. it shows location of all nearby "Lightning Plug Jumps"
• Ironheade concept arts:
  
  • mind that you need to unlock only Ironheade concept arts, no need to unlock Drowning Doom or Tainted Coil concept arts
    
  • you can find which concept arts you have unlocked by visiting "Extras -> Concept Art Browser" in Main Menu
    
  • you unlock a few concept arts for finishing the campaign, but other concert arts you get for producing a certain number of units during RTS battles (you can grind them in Multiplayer/Skirmish). below is the list of units you have to build to unlock a respective concept art for them
    
    IRONHEADE

    DROWNING DOOM

    TAINTED COIL

    LEVEL 1

    Headbanger

    Grave Digger

    Battle Nun

    Razor Girl

    Frightwig

    Soul Kisser

    Thunderhog

    Bride

    Punishing Party

    LEVEL 2

    Fire Baron

    Ratgut

    Warfather

    Headsplitter

    Lightning Rod

    Skull Raker

    -

    Organist

    Screamwagon

    -

    -

    Pain Lifter

    LEVEL 3

    Bouncer

    Brood

    Overblesser

    Roadie

    Dirgible

    Heart Cutter

    Metal Beast

    Reaper

    Hate Cage

    LEVEL 4

    Rock Crusher

    Tree Back

    Bleeding Death
• the final concept art is a "MegaStage" concept art. to unlock it use a Double Team with MegaStage for ~5 min (three arts for each faction)

• Creatures concept arts:
  
  • a creature concept art is unlocked for killing a certain number of them in open-world. you must use Axe and Guitar only - kills with The Deuce do not count
    
  • you can find which concept arts you have unlocked by visiting "Extras -> Concept Art Browser" in Main Menu
    
  • the list of all animals you have to kill:
    
    • Raptor Elk
      
    • Razorfire Boar
      
    • Tollusk
      
    • Laser Panther
      
    • Sickle Wraith
      
    • Guillotar
      
    • Hextadon

Practice Bloody Practice
Win an AI stage battle - any difficulty

Iron Fist
Win an AI stage battle - Brütal difficulty

Hammer of Fate Champion
Win 10 games on Hammer of Infinite Fate maps - ranked or vs. the Brütal AI.

• those three achievements are obtainable in the same way
  
• "Hammer of Infinite Fate" maps are: Coiled Remains, Crucible of the Titans, Altar of Blood, The Amplified Cliffs (the last four maps)
  
• play as "Drowning Doom" against "Brutal-AI" "Drowning Doom" on "Altar of Blood" map
  
• from the start create a Summon Flag somewhere near the center, closer to the right Fan Geyser
  
• create x1 Bride, x1 GraveDigger, x1 Bride, and x1 GraveDigger - in that order
  
• double-team with the first Bride and travel to the enemy Stage alongside left path

• stand very closely to the Stage and keep spamming Bride's Lighting
  
• AI Ophelia is dumb and just stands here watching you helplessly; all enemy units will ignore you and rush to the center

• during that whole ordeal continually create new units, doesn't matter who you will create, just keep AI occupied
  
• in a mere minutes you will win. the whole process takes 3-4 minutes. repeat few more times for "Hammer of Fate Champion" achievement

Armchair General
Win a single-player Stage Battle against the AI using only orders

• play as "Drowning Doom" or "Ironheade" against "Most Gentle" "Tainted Coil" on whatever map you like
  
• use regular orders ("follow here", "attack that"...) to win the fight
  
• you may use non-damaging Solos ("Rally Army", "Summon Flag", "Fan Tribute" and various buffs), but may not use debuffs and attacks
  
• you may double-team with units, but cannot use their attacks

main setup

• "Ringleader", "Painkiller", "Dollpocalypse", "Euthanasia", and "Death From Above" achievements are obtainale with the same approach, only your faction varies
  
• play as whatever fraction you need against "Most Gentle AI" "Ironheade" on "Feeding Area" map
  
• capture all neutral Fan Geysers in whatever way you like
  
• hold your troops in that area
  
• if you placed your units correctly, then AI will start producing units, before eventually attacking your army with a force of 16-24 units (mostly Razor Girls)
  
• now just play the waiting game - fly above AI's Stage and wait until AI produced enough units for achievement's requirement or when AI is going to attack you. it is as random as it gets, just wait for a good opportunity
  
• if AI keep attacking you with 4-8 units, then move your army a bit closer to your Stage; if AI instead of attacking you is trying to capture two Fan Geysers on the left, then move your army closer to opponent's Stage

Ringleader
Trap 15 enemies in one ring of fire with the Fire Baron's Double Team

• read "main setup" paragraph above
  
• play as Ironheade. Fire Baron is available on Stage's level 2
  
• AI's Razor Girls will decimate your bike before you finish their entrapment. instead wait until AI will attack you, so your other units will take a bit of hitting and allow to safely entrap enemies
  
• be careful, it is easy to fall down from the cliff while driving the bike

Painkiller
Kill 25 enemies with the grinder of one Rock Crusher

• read "main setup" paragraph above
  
• play as Ironheade. Rock Crusher is available on Stage's level 4
  
• you need to ram x25 units in one Rock Crusher's life. don't risk too much, fall back occasionally to Thunderhogs for healing. mind that on;y ramming counts towards that achievement, not other attack
  
• double-team with Rock Crusher, travel to AI's base, ram few units, escape back to Thunderhogs to heal Rock Crusher, rinse and repeat
  
• alternatively wait until AI attack you and ram them while being supporter by your units

Dollpocalypse
Hit 6 enemies with the explosion from a Brood's Double Team

• read "main setup" paragraph above
  
• play as Drowning Doom. Brood is available on Stage's level 3
  
• overly easy. either wait until AI attacks you, or ambush his units right on his base
  
• hitting enemies (not killing them) is enough for that achievement

Euthanasia
Hit 15 enemies with one Agony Ball using the Pain Lifter's Double Team

• read "main setup" paragraph above
  
• play as Tainted Coil. Pain Lifter is available on Stage's level 2 (from Warfather)
  
• it is better to wait until AI has 16 units on his base and attack them, instead of waiting until he attack your army first. the latter will make hitting his units with an Agony Ball harder
  

Death From Above
Kill 20 enemies with one Bleeding Death

• read "main setup" paragraph above
  
• play as Tainted Coil. Bleeding Death is available on Stage's level 4
  
• bring Bleeding Death at AI base. wait until AI produced x20 units and unleash the mayhem

• do not summon Bleeding Death near opponent's Stage or else it will stuck in destroying the Stage, paying no attention to units themselves

Master of the Flame
Double Team with every Ironheade unit

Master of the Tear
Double Team with every Drowning Doom unit

Master of the Blood
Double Team with every Tainted Coil unit

• create a "Custom Match" with no opponent. this way you can safely produce whatever units you want without any threats

• units to make Double Team with:
  
  IRONHEADE

  DROWNING DOOM

  TAINTED COIL

  LEVEL 1

  Headbanger

  Grave Digger

  Battle Nun

  Razor Girl

  Frightwig

  Soul Kisser

  Thunderhog

  Bride

  Punishing Party

  LEVEL 2

  Fire Baron

  Ratgut

  Warfather

  Headsplitter

  Lightning Rod

  Skull Raker

  -

  Organist

  Screamwagon

  -

  -

  Pain Lifter

  LEVEL 3

  Bouncer

  Brood

  Overblesser

  Roadie

  Dirgible

  Heart Cutter

  Metal Beast

  Reaper

  Hate Cage

  LEVEL 4

  Rock Crusher

  Tree Back

  -
• as you can see Tainted Coil's two extra units - Tick Chopper and Bleeding Death - do not count

Sellout
Spend 250,000 fans - any mode

• here we go, the most annoying achievement in the game. after finishing the main campaign, after doing all other multiplayer achievements you still will get ~50,000/250,000. so you have to grind it, no exception
  
• create a "Custom Match" with no opponent. play as "Tainted Coil" on "Crucible of the Titans" map

• capture all Fan Geysers (there are six in total)
  
• place a Summon Flag on an anvil close to your Stage
  
• now continually produce Nuns. they will travel to a Summon Flag, where be killed by a golem

• if you never restarted the game, then you check your current spent fans in Stats
  
• ALT+TABing from the game will pause the game, but there is a weird workaround...
  
• ...mute the game, minimize it into a window, open some YouTube video, movie or series to entertain yourself, then switch back to them game. if done right then you can at least watch something while waiting. I have spent my precious time by watching Futurama
  
• you need ~9 hours to generate 250,000 fans, but you cannot have more than 9,999 fans at once (you need to spend them asap). Nuns take the least amount of time to be built and occupy only 1 slot

Victör
Win a ranked multiplayer match

Subjügator
Win 10 match-made multiplayer battles

Cönquerer
Win 50 match-made multiplayer battles

• those three achievements are obtainable only in random Matchmaking
  
• if you want to obtain those achievement in a fair fight, then join Discord group where you can find players to play against[discord.gg]
  
• but if you want to get those achievements asap, then find a boost-partner in Steam Forums (it is not an issue to find one), start a matchmaking and let one of you surrender (yes, victory by a surrendering does count)
  
• if you have been matched against a wrong person, then surrender and try again

Hammer of Infinite Fate Tourist
Play a multiplayer game on all Hammer of Infinite Fate multiplayer maps.

• "Hammer of Infinite Fate" maps are: Coiled Remains, Crucible of the Titans, Altar of Blood, The Amplified Cliffs (the last four maps)
  
• find a somebody either in Steam Forums or in Discord group[discord.gg] and invite each other to play on each of those four maps. no need to play the full game, surrendering of any party is enough (you don't have to win, just participate)

Six Degrees of Schafer
Play with or against another player who has this Achievement

• a viral achievement - requires to play with whoever has that achievement
  
• you can find people with that achievement in Discord group[discord.gg], or in Steam Forums

if you want to thank me...

...then check my guide about fixing various game issues: launching, crashing, optimization, stuttering, gamepads, etc. the guide is huge, but the topic is broad to begin with
https://sp.zhabite.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1935376439