Good morning, completionists :)
This guide is referring the the "Challenges" mode that you can access through the main menu.
It took me a second to figure these out, so I thought I would share. Thanks for reading!

Objective: Put away the baby's toys

Instruction: Pick up the toys and place them into the toybox.
The toys include: Small wooden blocks, big colored blocks, the ball, and the toy piano.

Objective: Remove foreign objects from the pool

Instruction: Jump on in, and grab and toss out the four balls.

Objective: Throw away the kitchen poops

Instruction: Select each poop and drag them to the trash can, where they will disappear on impact.
There are 14 poops hidden, all within the kitchen.
They are located:

• In the fruit bowl
  
• In front of the fridge
  
• In the freezer
  
• Inside of the kitchen island (the cabinet below the fruit bowl)
  
• The pull-out drawer to the left of the stove
  
• Inside of the stove
  
• Inside of the microwave
  
• On the kitchen counter, to the right of the stove
  
• On top of all of the cabinets, in the corner
  
• Inside the cabinet above the stacked glasses
  
• In the sink
  
• In the cabinet below the sink
  
• On a dining chair
  
• In the corner behind the dining table (by the sliding glass door)

Objective: Place the dishes in the kitchen cupboards

Instruction: There are 5 plates on the counter, 5 glasses on the counter, and 3 glasses in the sink.
One at a time, pick the dishes up and place them into the black cabinets.
The glasses are delicate, so take short steps as to not build up too much momentum.

Objective: Touch the sponge to the car

Instruction: The sponge will spawn somewhere in the room. Find it and drag it to the car!
The most common spawns are on top of the work table, and in the stacks of tires (behind the car).

Objective: Break all of the shatterable glass

Instruction: Jump down to the living room and grab a hammer. You can use this to shatter the glass table in front of you, and the four windows from the master bedroom above. Then, break the five stacked cups in the kitchen, the three in the sink, and the two outside between the lounge chairs.

Objective: Extinguish the candle flames

Instruction: Place the five candles under water. I used the sinks.
The candles are located:

• Two in living room
  
• One on dining room table
  
• One on the downstairs toilet
  
• One in the upstairs office

Objective: Cook all of the meat in the kitchen

Instruction: Turn on the stovetop and oven. Place the frying pan (find in the sink) onto the stovetop. Cook all of the fridge meat in the frying pan until it says they are done. While you do this, you can cook the baby in the oven :( he is also meat.

Objective: Knock down all of the hung up paintings

Instruction: Jump up and down on the paintings to knock them off their hooks.

Locations:

• Kitchen - One desert, one banana, one salt
  
• Downstairs bathroom - One salt
  
• Living room - One desert, five bananas (going up the stairs)
  
• Upstairs hallway - Two bananas
  
• Nursery - Two bananas
  
• Office - Two bananas, one desert
  
• Upstairs bathroom - One banana (use trash can to knock down, if you're struggling)
  
• Master bedroom - Two deserts, one banana

Objective: Take the babies out of the water

Instruction: Grab the pool skimmer from the side of the house. It will hold the babies like a magnet. You can collect the babies from inside or outside of the water, and then lift the skimmer out of the water!

Objective: Eat all the batteries

Instruction: Interact with every battery in the battery pack next to your spawn.

Objective: Drink all five gallons of bleach before you die!

Instruction:

• Drink the bleach in the upstairs bathroom
  
• Go around the parent's bed and enter the vent
  
• Drink the laundry shelf bleach
  
• Enter the kitchen and drink the bleach (under the sink)
  
• Move into the downstairs bathroom and drink that one (under sink)
  
• Take the vent to the right of the downstairs bathroom sink
  
• Fall down to the bottom of the living room closet and drink the final bleach

Objective: Take every vent shortcut

Instruction:

• Climb up the nursery chair into the vent
  
• Downstairs bathroom vent
  
• Upstairs master bedroom vent

Objective: Make the kitchen and/or the baby toasty

Instruction: A shortcut for this one is finding a fork or knife and stabbing the wall socket.

Objective: Become one with the laundry

Instruction: Drop down onto the laundry machines and turn them on. Jump into one, close the door, and wait for death.

Objective: Crash daddy's car

Instruction:

• Grab the car keys to the right of the garage door
  
• Enter the vehicle
  
• Put the keys in the ignition
  
• Shift gears
  
• Turn off parking brake
  
• Press the gas pedal!

Objective: Give your friends a nice, toasty bath

Instruction:

• Grab the toaster plug that's hanging off of the kitchen island
  
• Pull the toaster into the downstairs bathroom
  
• Plug it into the left outlet (closest to the toilet)
  
• Push the step-stool towards said outlet
  
• Turn on the faucet
  
• Deliver the toaster!

This one might be bugged. I shot all the hoops that I could find, didn't complete it, but still received the achievement.

Objective: Fire your ball launcher into each hoop

Instruction: Jump up and interact with the ball launcher to grab it. Shoot the hoops in the living room, the one outside the front door, the ones on the kitchen counter, and the ones above the pool. The hoop will explode when you score, so explode them all.

It registered for me after exiting the game and coming back later.

Objective: Find all of your peers and destroy them

Instruction: Kill all of the other babies. I think the knife is easiest, since you spawn with it.

• Grab the knife and kill the garage baby.
  
• You can reach over the edge of the pool and kill the swimming baby
  
• There's a baby in the cleaning supply closet
  
• and one zooming around the living room
  
• One in the corner of the trophy room
  
• One in the nursery's toybox
  
• One in the upstairs bathroom

Objective: Outrun your immobile halfling father

Instruction: Run to the master bedroom!
Not the best race since daddy isn't moving, but I think if he ever did I'd be running to the HILLS.