Recent reviews by puddingtopf

Half-a**ed "remaster" for a game that didn't need it. Added new bugs and issues. And now they've made their own 2K launcher mandatory for this game, even for existing owners.

I actually enjoyed my playthrough of this game, but it still deserves a negative review simply for all the broken promises, cut content, censorship, unstable performance, and underwhelming game mechanics. I should've unlocked my final achievement for 100% back in December, but my last missing gig is still bugged after two and a half months. Also, I haven't actually played the game since December except to test the bugged gig, so the game didn't really keep me playing after finishing all the filler content (which was already not that great). I just decided to write this review after reading something about the game online.

Update on March 29, 2021: Version 1.2 has fixed my bug in the Olive Branch gig and I could finally unlock my last achievement.

Cool game with a nice movement system. Short, but fun campaign. It took me 11 hours to unlock every achievement. I haven't played online much (so far), but that can add a lot of replay value.

I initially bought and refunded Agony Unrated in early 2019 because it felt somewhat awkward to play, but I always wanted to give it another shot, so I bought it again (on its second anniversary, coincidentally) and suddenly really liked it.
It's a very janky game. It has some weird character models and animations, the player can often get stuck on random objects and obstacles, and platforming can be slippery and annoying. Some gameplay mechanics are also unpolished and seem confusing until you get used to them.
However, I really like and respect the extreme depiction of hell here, and it's also fun to play, explore, and learn how everything works.
It's a unique and entertaining experience, and it took me 22 hours to unlock every achievement.

The graphics are mediocre, the performance can be pretty bad, and some levels are rather bland. The game is generally not really what I want from Serious Sam.
However, the core gameplay is still fun and the second half of the game gets better (in my opinion), so it can still be an enjoyable experience.

Update on October 13: After a total play time of 36 hours (including some messing around), I have completed my second playthrough, this time on Serious difficulty. The game has some weird difficulty spikes, but my general opinion is the same as before. It's okay, but I prefer the style of the older titles (2001-2010).

Update on March 9: While the game isn't terrible, I've decided to change my rating from positive to negative. The guns feel nice, but the overall gameplay isn't that fun (or balanced) and the inaccurate guns hurt the combat experience. The graphics are bland and the game still runs like a** (frame rate, texture pop-in, model pop-ups). Some visual features have been downgraded compared to previous games (ugly cubemaps instead of actual reflections, grass doesn't cast shadows). The character models are ugly, the animations and writing are awful. There's a random lesbo couple with cringy rainbow clothes because Croteam was apparently trying to cater to "those people" and maybe get some media attention. The Harpies are censored, even though Croteam promised they wouldn't be (my problem is not the lack of nudity, but the censorship and lies). The Legion System looks impressive for a few seconds, then you realize it's a joke (again: lies). And why are there no achievements for Serious difficulty, or for collecting secrets? Feels like they were trying to appeal to new, casual players. It's just disappointing in every aspect.

This review is going to sound pretty negative, because I'm going to compare this game to the classic masterpiece from 2002. However, I do recommend the experience as a whole.

This remake has changed many aspects from the original game, and most of them are worse; sometimes even much worse.
- The story is generally the same, but this time, the presentation feels much more like a generic movie. Some of the changes can absolutely ruin the atmosphere (especially the cutscenes in "The Death of Art") and even certain gameplay sections.
- The same goes for most of the characters. Tommy and Don Salieri are decent, but the new Tommy seems less realistic and likeable than the original, and the rest feels uninspired.
- The music (both orchestral and licensed) sticks out far less and has a weaker "personality". The rap/hip-hop (?) song at the beginning of the credits is awful.
- The gameplay obviously feels better than the janky classic, but the level design for all the missions is too linear and feels less natural. It is also heavily scripted.
- The countryside has been changed from large, colorful, open fields and dense forests with green, red, and yellow trees to a rather boring bunch of rocky mountains with some grass and green trees. This also affects the motel, the race track, and the airport. It's still okay, though.
- Lucas Bertone's side missions and the Free Ride Extreme mode are both missing. Instead, you can visit Lucas in regular Free Ride and unlock 5 secret bonus cars from there. There are also additional side missions that you can find by following instructions that appear in the Bar.
- Some locations are in different places and have been redesigned, which can feel a bit uncanny and maybe sad to old fans.

Overall, despite all this, the Definitive Edition (which is a stupid name) is still solid. If you haven't played the original game (which you should do), or if you're an old fan who can manage to look at this game as its own thing, it's fun to play and exciting to experience.
It took me about 10 hours to finish the story on Classic difficulty (without aim assist), and I will probably unlock all the side content and achievements. The frame rate could be a bit higher, but the game runs well enough and Lost Heaven looks great. It feels nice to see such a beautiful new version of this city.

Update on day 6 of playing the game: I have indeed reached 100% progress, which took me 23 hours.

Update on April 7, 2021: 2K thought it was necessary to add a launcher to this game, even for existing owners. Changed my review from positive to negative. F*** you.

This is a late review, since my first playthrough (including the Gehenna DLC) was in April 2017 and my second playthrough in February 2019, but I still wanted to come back and give this game the positive review it deserves. For the record, it took me just under 57 hours to unlock every achievement in my two runs.
The puzzles are tough, but fun and addicting; the story is pretty interesting and presented in a very contemplative way that keeps you engaged; the graphics and music are beautiful and create a great atmosphere; and even Croteam's trademark sense of humor can be found in many parts of the game, especially the numerous secrets. I'm already a huge fan of their Serious Sam franchise, but this game was a big surprise that nobody saw coming. I highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys puzzles and thoughtful, atmospheric games.

Played this game and its two sequels to 100% on PS3, then (a few years later) bought the Ultimate Franchise Pack on PC. It's a great franchise, and SR3 is probably my favorite. Great humor, entertaining story, and lots of optional stuff to do.

This game is a masterpiece and I've been a fan since 2004 or so. Yes, of course the graphics are dated, and the controls as well as some gameplay mechanics are a bit wonky. However, it is still fun and thrilling to play through the campaign, and the story and atmosphere are amazing. The characters all have strong personalities and you grow very fond of them as you progress through the highly dramatic plot. And let's not forget the beautiful orchestral soundtrack and the classic licensed songs (which are completely missing in the re-released Steam version, but you can and should easily mod them back in). Highly recommended if you can handle older games.

Fun game with an entertaining story and characters. Doesn't feel as profound as Mafia 1 and lacks a proper Free Ride mode (huge shame since this limits your character and car customization and general freedom), but still good if you grab it on sale.