Recent reviews by Rigel

developers had the foresight to realize that people will want to kill their friends for their fumbles

evil ass game

Honestly? Incredible. I cannot fathom a world without the beauty of Conan M. Pig staring down me like an incomprehensible man with a massive glaring magnifying glass would to a nothing ant, but Conan is not a man. He is a god of gods, amongst a sea of heretics and nonbelievers.

In the opening sequences, it shows that Conan lived long before even the ground existed, before Earth itself was formed. However, I believe that Earth would never be graced by Conan, I believe the only true place it could've been would be the Garden of Eden itself.

Once the farm he humbly dwelled upon was up for sale, Conan felt despair, and all the color in the world vanished in a moment's instant. He can warp the world he stands upon solely with his own emotions, does that not sound something that a god would be able to do? Again, Conan is not just a god. He is a god of gods.

And in the end, he only desires prosperity for the farm, and a simple loving spouse. With all his power, he settles with earthly desires. We can all learn a thing or two about Conan, sometimes even with power, we should only settle for the simplest things in life.

Conan the Mighty Pig is truly a one of a kind game, with its existence alone, it disproves multiverses, as nothing can ever match up to this game, and no universe can exist without Conan the Mighty Pig. This game should be framed up on the most prestigious museum, to be worshipped in a cathedral made solely for it.

I'd be happy to stare at it as it becomes the brightest star in the night sky.
And I'd keep staring at it long after it has scorched my retinas out with its brilliant aura.

Absolutely remarkable.
10/10.

cons:
annoying to play
crafting is ass
monkeys are stupid
building is stupid
no rotation

pros:
monkey slavery

misleading name, no actual lobotomy ingame

i was beat to death for spending 100 on a loud horn

h4yerfhehyew35twsddfmtsmxjytreazVWS deqws

manmade horrors

do not look at the workshop
worst mistake of my life

yeah i played for a bit no biggie