Recent reviews by Nubb Rubb

I feel quite hungry

The crops...are withering my liege.

5/7 shrimps

So much pain and suffering...

The men screamed as I played my flute across the battlefield, over the piles of dead and dying from both nations. I played the flute so hard that Napoleon himself came and congratulated me, handing me "Le Baguette de Guerre", the highest award that could be bestowed a flute player of humble origins.

Imagine Kindgom Come Deliverance but instead of the full game, what you get is this scenario;

You wake up in your hovel and your mother has not cooked food for you. You go outside to ask why and she just slaps you so hard you pass the ♥♥♥♥ out. You wake up again and find the local dogs have ripped off your balls and you are covered in ♥♥♥♥. You proceed to go into town, just to be beaten up by some aged boomer who stole your family radish. So, you go home all bruised and battered, only to be greeted by the scene that befell Luke Skywalker when he gets back from the desert to find Ben and Lars burnt to a crisp and his house gone. And then the Cumans come and kill you. And THAT is the entire game.

AND IT WOULD STILL BE MORE ENJOYABLE THAN PLAYING THIS.

My friends and I literally spent 4 hours dying and eating river leeches because food was too expensive to buy and when we managed to mine some gold, it was worth less than a loaf of bread.

Probably the best depiction of how to give people food poisoning ever.

This game is addictive and will steal your soul...

"Your seat is a place where you can sit, So go back to your seat!"
"Your hat used to steal from orphans, and I have proof!"

Pros;

A great focus on strategy where terrain, equipment and morale all play a crucial part.
A large amount of historical battles to choose from allowing you to really feel like you are part of the campaign.
Decent AI that moves to counter you and often takes you by suprise.
Glorious graphics.
A competant learning curve throughout the game.
Historical figures that you can recruit to lead your men.
Lovely music and sound quality during combat (if a little repetative at times).
Honest to goodness had me at the edge of my seat focusing hard at the higher game levels to win battles.
SO MUCH MORE! SOOOOO MUCH!


Cons;

AI scaling is a bit wonky, you often end up being heavily outnumbered leaving some battles impossible to win if you try and increase the size of your army.
Routing AI often flee through your troops when you really can't afford to chase them and they end up coming back in perfect flanking positions.
Veteran costs are a bit extreme considering battle rewards (even with maxed out politics, economy and training perks).
Leaves you wanting more skirmish battles and minor engagements.
Flanking seems a little random at times, i.e flanking an enemy often does very little compared to what it does to you.
Cavalry vs routing inf brigades needs a buff.
Cavalry AI is often a little unresponsive.


Improvements needed in the future;

Ability to have a multiplayer feature for historical + custom battles would be AMAZING!
Mod capability to customise unit appearance.
A fix for the AI rout system so routing units actively try to get back to the rest of the army rather than going literally anywhere they please and often getting lost and decimated behind enemy lines as a result.
Artillery buffs at long range (round shot) so it actually can damage bunched up units a decent amount rather than killing not even a handful of men per volley even with a direct hit.
An ability to rally wavering/routing men more quickly would be appreciated.
A fix to the AI scaling so you don't have to worry about being vastly outnumbered in every battle once you increase your army organisation.